Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
