I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
