he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
