and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
