Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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