rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
