what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
