I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
