i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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