Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
