careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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