I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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