so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
