Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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