Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
