Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
