i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
