It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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