Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
