we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have fence marks all over my body
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
