The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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