My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
