he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
