Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
