i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You took a bar mat shot.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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