I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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