actually, I'm a sock model
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
