cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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