Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize