im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
