I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
