I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize