How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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