I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
this boner is exhausting
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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