in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
