Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
