Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
