That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i think my cat just said my name.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
