Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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