Your tits are I can't wait for
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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