living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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