i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
