you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need a burrito and a hug.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
