Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
