Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

You just made me feel so damn special

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(210): View more from Texas

life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

(210): View more from Texas

i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.

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(813): View more from Florida

For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.

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