Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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