What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
