My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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