No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Houston, we have a blender
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
