i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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