oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize