Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
