You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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