We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
