He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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