Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
