This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
