I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
