she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize