alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
