he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
