No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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