So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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