She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
