If that was your dad, he is hot
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
