The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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