I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
