i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
