he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
